Jesse Metcalfe drinks, plunges 40 feet off nightclub balcony

The gardener with the floppy manchichs from "Desperate Housewives" was being a d-bag at a club in Monaco, hanging out a second-floor balcony when he fell 30-to-40 feet and hit the ground. Dirty douche water exploded everywhere. After they cleaned that up, they took Jesse Metcalfe to a nearly hospital where he had a brain scan. That brain scan must have taken hours. The technicians couldn't figure out why the x-rays only had the words "not available" on them.

Jesse was released from the hospital in Monaco today and flown to London where he had a C-Scan. His spokesbitch said, "He accidentally slipped off a balcony and was knocked unconscious, but he is fine and now recovering from some minor bruises in a London hospital."